Apparently a lot of stress and tears

Ok so the answer to yesterday's question is a lot. A lot of stress and tears. I had to register for the TeXes test today. That is the big certification test you have to take to teach in Texas. Well, I have to take it by June 1. But the exciting news is that there are no dates near my home before June 1. I frantically, I do mean frantically, text the TFA staff. They tell me, "don't worry, take it on June 3."

Phew. So, I start signing up for the June 3 date. But, there are no seats available, even though the website says there are. Panic. Panic. Panic. I start searching again. The whole state. Again. As luck would have it, a test date on May 22nd magically pops up in Texarkana, which is like 2.5 hours from my house. It wasn't there 45 minutes earlier, but it is there now.

I call my husband to see what he thinks. He doesn't answer. I call again. He doesn't answer. It is just me and the most important test . . . ever. My husband doesn't seem to understand that. The SAT, the GRE, they are important, yes. But you have time. You have time to take them again, to study. And quite frankly, you have safety schools and back up plans. This new test. It is pretty damn important. I'm freaking out. And now there are no testing dates.

My contract for my job ended. And they are seriously dragging their feet on paying me. My husband just took a huge paycut, and now I have to drive and pay for a hotel room. I'm just hyperventilating. I'm just freaking out.

But the test is scheduled. My mom has a line on a good hotel room, and she is going to come watch my kids because, oh did I forget to mention, I have to miss my kids' big musical that she has been practicing for for months and months. So at least my mom will be there. Missing my kid's play, yep, start the water works.

Back to tears and studying.

Brand New Teach for America--er 2015

So I am officially part of the 2015 Teach for America Corp in Dallas/Fort Worth for 2015. I came on in the 6th deadline. The last deadline. This is posed a whole batch of issues . . . mostly time. But I am so excited to start working as a teacher in a city I love. I am so excited so start working against education inequality. I am assigned as a Middle School Generalist. Yes, I cried at first. But then I thought, "I want to stop the womb to prison pipeline and end education inequity. And bunch of middle schoolers in a low-income area are about to be taught by a PhD." Seriously, they are lucking out and I am about to make a huge difference. Yeah, that may be a brazen thing to say, but I can feel it in my bones.

That aside. I have no idea what is going on. I need a day off, but I don't know if it is granted by the powers that be. I need to take my test, but I have hardly anytime to study, and I am an old person, so I haven't taken middle school math in a million years. I'm pretty nervous about it. I don't know what is going on with housing for the summer. That kinda makes planning for my little kids . . . challenging. I just wish information was a little faster coming. I understand that most corp members are fresh out of their BA and are like 21 so this is a whole new world for them, but it is a little different for me.

I took the first diagnostic which I totally bombed. Then I found out that it really had nothing to do with my subject area. So, I took a second diagnostic for my subject area, and I got a 76%. I cried. Then I studied. Then I took another diagnostic, and I got a 94%. My husband says that should make me feel like I am going to pass just fine, but I don't. I'm sitting here, books open. Thinking about crying. Which makes me wonder how much crying taking this job is actually going to involve.

Ok, back to the books.